Restaurants: Keeping the boss happy.

So last Thursday we chose to take our mum out for a meal as part of her birthday present. We chose to go to Prezzos as it's a bit more classier than the local pub but not too upmarket that we leave with empty pockets. After visiting various Prezzos in the country and always been presented with good service and beautiful food, we decided it was the best place in Peterborough to go. However dad was on form. He definitely was not short on complaints and they were quickly rubbing off on the rest of the dinner guests. Here's what he had to say about the evening:

• Why do these high street restaurant chains employ staff from other lands?
• Why do they put a service charge on the bill on the assumption I'm going to pay it?
• Why is it every time I get into a taxi its driver is meandering all over the damn road as if he owns it talking gibberish and messing around with their flaming mobile phones?

Keeping the 'boss' happy:

1. Greet us quickly, we don't expect to be stood waiting to be acknowledged for 20 minutes to then wait for a table.
2. If it has been raining and your establishment has stone/marble flooring I expect you to at least have a wet floor sign out, not me slipping all over the place!
3. I expect the table to be clean ready for our arrival, not cleaning it whilst we are stood waiting to sit down.
4. It also needs to be presentable.
5. Don't take too long to take our drinks order.
6. Don't ask for our drinks order too soon, we want to read the menu!
7. Don't come back to double check our drinks order because you forgot to when we placed it.
8. Don't then have another colleague ask what we wanted because you didn't understand something that was ordered from the menu.
9. Don't get our drinks order wrong.
10. Don't take too long with the drinks.
11. Don't walk over too quickly that you spill them.
12. Don't take our drinks menu so we are unable to order more drinks.
13. But don't keep asking me if we want more drinks when we clearly still have liquid in our glasses.
14. And when we ask for water for the table in means for everyone so we all expect glass thanks.
15. Don't take too long to take our food order.
16. But don't ask for our order five minutes after we've sat down.
17. Leave a perfect amount of time between bringing our drinks and our food, I don't expect to be ordering multiple beverages before I'm able to eat, otherwise I would have sat at the bar.
18. Don't ask us how the food is whilst all our mouths are full.
19. And if one person says it's okay it doesn't mean we all agree.
20. Also don't ask us how it is when we've practically finished our plates - bit late isn't it?
21. Make sure to take our plates once everyone has finished eating, just because some people have finished it doesn't give you permission to start clearing our table.
22. But don't leave us with the plates for too long, we want to enjoy the rest of our evening without the clutter of dirty dishes.
23. When you have nothing better to do because it's a slow evening don't hover over us watching every mouth full so you can take our plates as soon as we finish and go home.
24. Don't take too long to ask if we want dessert.
25. But don't ask us as soon as we've finished, give us time to make room!
26. If we don't want dessert don't allow your colleague to ask us again in a few minutes, no means no!
27. If we do, make sure you bring them swiftly - Christmas is coming!
28. When you acknowledge that we are done but it's the end of your shift don't just leave without asking a colleague to take over our table.
29. But don't try to kick us out with the bill as soon as we take our last bite or sip.
30. Also don't just add a tip to our bill, if we want to tip you we will.
31. We will leave when we are ready. Just because we haven't ordered anymore drinks it doesn't mean we've finished our evening!
32. When we do leave don't ignore us - be polite, say bye and thank you. You've been harassing us all night in the aims to get more money out of me so I expect the same treatment on the way out.