Dad's Top 10 Tips: How to Spot a Muppet

Add Comment baggy trousers , father , laziness , lifestyle blog , mate , misspelled tattoos , muppet , muppetry , new blog , pet peeves , phrase of the day , social media , swearing , technology , the ramblings of our father

WARNING: The following content could - and probably will - cause offence.

Over the past 21 years, we have come to realise that a number of things can successfully set Dad off on a ramble. One thing in particular is, in his words, muppetry.

Muppet (noun): someone who is stupid, idiotic or incompetent.
Synonyms: f*ck-wit, f*ck-tard, f*ck-brain: essentially, anything with the prefix f*ck.

To assist you in avoiding unnecessary daily stress, irritation and disappointment, we have compiled a list of the most notable features Dad associates with the common muppet.

One qualifies as a muppet if one:

Stays in bed past 9am.
Takes a trip to the supermarket in PJs.
Cares a lot about political correctness (i.e. is a do-gooder).
Is found in the Houses of Parliament.
Addresses someone they do not know well as mate.
Drives without lights on in the rain.
Wears trousers round their derriere.
Has a misspelled tattoo.
Uses expletives on social media (yes, we are guilty).
Attempts to cross a busy road whilst dribbling and staring into a mobile phone screen.